These are a freaking hoot. Let me apologize in advance for my jabs at the South’s checkered history. It’s all in fun…really.

 This is the ugliest, largest clucker I have ever seen in my life. It’s a wonder KFC ever got off the ground!

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/GAMARchicken.html

 There better be a bar at the end of this maze…….

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://faculty.concordia.edu/david_kluth/ANZtrip/images/H_dole_maze_ariel-lg.jpg&imgrefurl=http://faculty.concordia.edu/david_kluth/ANZtrip/Plantation.htm&h=450&w=590&sz=73&hl=en&start=8&tbnid=hk5g35ZzsbTCVM:&tbnh=103&tbnw=135&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpineapple%2Bmaze%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG

I read that they have a recipe for Spam Chocolate Cake? Does Spam have meat in it? Maybe that is why they put it in Chocolate cake. Hey! Cheryl could make some for Dad! Gross.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MNAUSspam.html

 Mississippi in 1940? Was the entire KKK on hiatus when this was built? The woman is black! The horror! Hey, just saying Mississippi Burning and they left up the giant black woman? Leave it to the KKK to not even be thorough with their ethnic cleansing.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MSNATmammy.html

 I can’t tell you how proud this makes me to be from the Midwest.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/MNDARtwine.html

 The Miracle Tortilla? Get a life people. Jesus ain’t on your stinkin’ Tortilla.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/NMLAKtortilla.html

 Cow Chip Capital. Again, I am beaming with pride.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/OKBEAchip.html

 Welcome to South Carolina; where everyone who isn’t white is enslaved, hung or made to wear a giant hat.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/SCDILsob.html

 The Toilet Man!! I can’t make fun though…he’s 80. At least he isn’t sitting around bitching about the younger generation.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/TXSANtoilet.html

 Ma! I can’t see a thing. I think that Pink Elephant in the living room stole my glasses again!

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tips/getAttraction.php3?tip_AttractionNo==1645

Today; boys and girls we are going to talk about interesting reading because for the last two hours, instead of working I have been reading! I was busy this morning but all of the sudden its dead and I am caught up and ho hum. I have 5 hours left to work. I figure I have some time to spare.

The following reading material has continually educated, entertained or shocked and appalled me in the last week:

Wikipedia : For those of you who have been living in a cave for  the last two years, Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia; ….except better because it has things like “famous gay actors” and the life story of Beyonce all right at the click of a mouse! Even more exciting; if you happen to be an expert on say…Spitting Spiders   you can edit the entry. I love this site! I have literally in the last week learned that Abe Lincoln is thought to be by some historians to be gay/bi and it is rumored that Laura Ingalls Wilder ‘s daughter, Rose, actually did most of the writing in the popular “Little House on the Prairie” series.  Also, did you know that there is a species of cockroach that grows up to 9 cm long and can weigh up to 30 grams? Some Aussies keep them as pets.

And when is the last time you sat down and read this? “We,  therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.”

Sniff. Damn that Thomas Jefferson sure knew how to make a statement, didn’t he? God Bless America. I love Great Britain with their “The Colonies” statements, Uncle Ben clock, Royal scandals and stuffiness. Not to mention being our biggest ally in the last several conflicts and a couple of World Wars. However, I am still glad our Forefather’s had the balls to tell them to stick it. Speaking of balls...

Low Blow: A series written by a Senior News editor for MSNBC about prostate cancer. I would bet you are like Hubby and me, thinking prostate cancer wasn’t a big deal anymore. Snip, snip and go on with life. It’s still something to be taken seriously folks. When I mentioned to Hubby that after surgery; there is no “morning wood”…or afternoon wood for that matter for a year or more without help from a pill-I got his attention. Frankly, it had my attention-okay maybe I don’t always have time for a good roll in the hay before work-it’s nice to have the option! After hearing that wearing Depends for a couple of months after surgery might be necessary; we made an appointment for a check-up. Preventative medicine can only prevent if you make the damned appointment! GO, read now!

The Jungle Woman: For once, I have to tell you I am almost speechless…almost but not quite. If she went into the jungle at 8; she didn’t forget how to talk for God’s sake. If the woman is happy in the Jungle, I say leave well enough alone. There is something to be said for being buck naked everyday, no worries about paying the bills, no “get up and make the donuts” every day, no house cleaning, no rat race, no depressing news everyday…no irritating Mother In Law…hell if I were her, I would want to go back to the jungle too.

Michael J. Devlin:  I might be a little obsessed-I’ll admit. I hate bullies, HATE bullies. Obviously bullying, intimidation, terrorizing and abuse are the reasons most of these kids can’t (or don’t feel they can) get out.  Part of what bothers me so much about abductors of children is that the abductor is usually repeating an offense that was at some point in their lives done to them. It’s another abusive cycle like so many others. Logically, I get that. My heart feels differently. I ( I am quoting Hubby here) don’t think he is worth a .05 cent bullet to the head. Having said that (and not that I am the one that will be doing the judging on this…that is God’s thing) I think he should rot in Hell and certainly never spend another day free in his life. The whole thing makes me so angry I get tears in my eyes every time I think about it.

Diary of an Affair: "Catholic based Retrouvaille" pimp aside, this is a great lesson. I have been married for 6 ½ years…which is not a long time in some peoples’ opinions. However, I have watched my parents marry and divorce at least 4 times. A little girl learns from her parents’ mistakes if she is smart. Recently, I learned of a couple we knew up north (Mike and Teri if you follow the blog) divorcing after 25 years of marriage. Of course her side is that it was his fault because he had an affair, I have heard. I haven’t heard his side from him but I saw him withstand more nagging, bitching, berating, scolding and fault finding than I ever thought a person could stand when they were married. It takes two to make a marriage work and it takes two to make it end. I think so many people take their marriages for granted and don’t’ work on their marriage. By work, I literally mean choosing to love your mate. Let’s say you feel like sh*t, had a crappy day at work, forgot to thaw something for dinner, have your daughters’ play costume to finish tonight and come home to find your Hubby sitting on the couch watching college basketball; kids fighting-house a mess- You ask if he remembered to go by the bank and make the deposit (because you have floated checks to pay bills) and he gives you a sheepish grin and says “I forgot”. You have a choice to make in that moment. It is the small choices and the little fights that add up to looking up one day and having no idea who you married. No, I would rather be in love with Hubby when I am 75 and worked REALLY hard to keep a strong marriage than the alternative.

Sophia